Struggling ~ And to those Struggling With Me..

I'm struggling right now ~ There I admit it ~
It's out there ~ No taking it back...lol

I really do try and fight this battle with a positive attitude.
But I would not be human if I didn't fall of the wagon every once in awhile.

My poor family has had to endure my hurricane of mood swings ~
I swear there is a sane person inside screaming to get out. ;)

I haven't been around as much I would like to have been.
Please know that I am thinking of each of you ~
Always Sending strength and love ...

Being involved in the organizations and causes that I am it seems
every week another one of my friends is touched by Cancer.
Whether it be diagnosis, battling through or sadly succumbing to it.

I am always just a message away. ~ Remember to reach out ~
You can not do it alone (Even though some of us have tried)

For those that are struggling this week:
Even though due to my treatments this week that I am unable to be there with
you physically this week~ Please know that I am always fighting along side of you in spirit.

I refuse to let this beat me ~ Even when I have those moments that I question whether it is worth it or not.
I have made it this far for a reason. The Doctors wrote me off almost 2 years ago. I have two beautiful children that pull me out of that Chemo fog every time.

Love you all and keep fighting!

The Cancer Diagnosis Hurricane

I have been dealing with having cancer for awhile now.

But when another one of my friends was diagnosed recently it made me sit and reflect on how I got to this point.

When you are diagnosed I like to compare it to being in a hurricane.
Your life as you know it will never be the same.
So many things are being thrown at you that you can not even process it until later.

I made a huge mistake when I was diagnosed.
I did not tell anyone!~ No One.
I tried to deal with everything on my own.
I went to treatments alone and even had surgery and drove myself home afterwards.
Not smart!

I truly think I put my marriage in jeopardy because of this.
I mean can you imagine your wife acting even more crazy than normal and there is not a reason for it

Now why did I do this?
I think that I thought as long as I didn't tell my family and friends ~ It wasn't real.
Pride ~ I didn't want to seem weak. .
I hated asking for help and more than that admitting I needed help.
But you have to.

I didn't want my kids to worry about mom not being there.
When you are a mom with cancer especially with young children like I have
it is hard to think you won't get to experience the "big" moments.
You really need someone to stand with you if nothing else but to be a filter.
There is so much to absorb that you need someone to even listen for you.
Surround yourself with positve people.

95% of my support system are amazing people.
But I have also had some incredibly insensitve things said to me as well.
You have to block out all negativity.

You have to say to yourself each and every day ~
Do Not Give Up! Keep Fighting!

And when you feel like you cannot Fight anymore...
Let me help you fight.

Who I Am..

My name is Shannon.

I am a woman in my 30's trying to battle my way through Stage 4 Ovarian Cancer.

I am a mother of two beautiful children who help me renew my fight each day.

I am a wife of 15 years to husband who did not sign up for any of this.

I am a friend who will fight for you as much as a do myself...

I am a future Cancer Survivor!

I have Cancer ~ Cancer does not have me!